Paradise Lost (BM #6)

“I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.” ― Jorge Luis Borges

One such paradise happens to be near my home. What's the big deal with having a library in the neighborhood, you might ask. Having grown up in India, my only access to library in my childhood days happen to the one run by the government with not much of collection to boast of. My mother was a pretty much regular visitor and would check out tamil novels from there.

Later on, the most sophisticated library I had access to was my college library but then that was full of academic books. I badly wanted to visit Anna Centenary library at Chennai but somehow I never managed to.Then we moved here to USA and I found a library near my home. There are libraries in every locality and it is like a part of the local community. 

The first time I visited the library, I was awed at how big it was for a local library, the neatly organised shelves and reading area, self check out and return facility, a 100 books at a time, online catalog and access. What more? A membership gives you free access to check out e-books from Overdrive and you can request for any book from the network of branches and they bring it your branch for pickup. And they conduct storytime, fun sessions, informative sessions for children and adults everyday. There is a bookclub too that meets regularly I believe!

All this raving might seem overhyped but its actually my desperation of what we miss in India. People of India, the government or whomever - we need these first and the McDs, Subways and Walmarts next! 

TAO - Finding a reason (BM #2)

The Art Of finding a reason to buy 'that one thing' which catches my fancy that sadly lasts only for a short while.

Gym cycle - Busy mornings, its too sunny by the time I can manage to go on a walk.

Those pots(for gardening), keyboard, DSLR, carrom board - one should always have a hobby, these days life is so stressful.

That yet-another toy chosen after heavy online research - my LO is really going to have fun playing with it for hours together (and you guess how she treats it) AND am going to get extra time for myself(sigh!)

That gadget - after all, we never overspend!!!

Stranded but not lost!

Just one more month and we are going to start a fresh year. And here I am, failing miserably in all the four challenges in addition to the Goodreads challenge(8 read toward the goal of 20) I took this year, Am I discouraged? Not at all! I am looking forward to taking fresh challenges the coming year and may be, may be I will complete them next year,

Aging gracefully

Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
― Abigail Van Buren

Every time I see an article or a talk show about how old people are not respected, are not treated good, how their off-springs are not performing their duties etc etc, I earnestly desire they see the other side as well. People, old or otherwise, have to be treated well, respected and cared for. Agreed. But why blame the young generation all the time without considering what they are/were being subjected to by the now old people.

I am not talking about ALL old people here but just trying to say that its very easy and common to take the side of a self-sympathizing, ailing, aging parent without considering the stance of the younger generation.

Today's senior citizens seem to want both the security of joint family and the luxury of nuclear family. They want the comforts that their children's money could buy but do not want to offer help with the struggles faced by the son/daughter and their spouse in balancing work and life and raising kids in a nuclear family. While I don't expect them to raise their grandchildren all by themselves, can't they be accommodating enough to oversee a cook or a servant or a baby caretaker?

They want to spend their retired lives peacefully with trips, tours and other leisurely activities but they do not realize that the youngsters too need some peace with all the struggle in today's fast paced life and the stress & pressure it brings along. While I don't expect them to cook, clean up and care for the home all the time, can't they be accommodating enough to give them a break once in a while?

Your children are neither an extension to your life to do things that you missed doing nor an accessory to be shown off proudly to your relatives and friends or to be compared with theirs. So what if a relative's daughter/son settled abroad and invited her/his parents to visit them on a vacation? While we don't expect them to leave behind a 'fat' will, can''t they be grateful enough for the life they lived and are living rather than whine and complain?

They dwell in the past, have the same rules or 'duty list' for their children and daughter in laws(especially) and fail to understand that the times are changing and so should the rules. While I don't expect them to treat their DILs like their own daughter, can't they be accommodating enough to not expect the DIL to take complete charge as soon as she enters home after a long day at work or in the weekends?

Aging gracefully doesn't just mean looking young at your 50s and 60s but its all about feeling young, lively, matured, accommodating and forgiving. Give, Offer and Love your children without expectations and they will follow your example.

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.
- Judith Viorst

Do you see the point behind this post? Let me know your thoughts...

Does charity begin at the doorstep?

Gone are the days when you bought, with complete trust and faith, sarees, biscuits, soaps, handcrafted incense sticks, ghee, electrical appliances and what not from the direct-to-door sales person. These days, there is another category of direct-to-home marketing that happens. Charity. With so many people thronging your doorstep ranging from donations for orphanages, old age homes, charity for the less privileged, financial aid for college education, alms to fulfil prayers by collecting money for their daughter’s marriage or for a pilgrimage trip and so on, you are sure to be baffled if the saying Charity begins at home has a different meaning altogether!

The problem is, with fraudsters and false schemes and beguilers everywhere people are now bound to view anyone at their doorstep with suspicion. You are left with little choice – either oblige without being sure that your intentions reach the right people or turn them all down. That includes the genuine too because identifying the genuine from the gimmick is so challenging that it’s better to be safe than sorry.

There are a variety of them out there - I have had a person at my doorstep who took the liberty to talk to me as if we have known each other for years claiming he is the ‘auto driver at the auto stand round the corner’ asking for donations for the festival arranged at ‘our’ temple. There is the ‘see it to believe it’ man who quotes your neighbours for being so generous with them and proves it by showing you the receipt book that claims to have collected donation from them. Then there is the gentleman who assures you he is not ‘yet another salesman’ and asks you to come a little closer when you suspiciously peep out of your living room behind locked gates.

And then there was this lady, neatly dressed, speaking fluent English, carrying a bunch of pamphlets, files and photos of children at an orphanage. All she wanted was my presence at the celebrations happening during the weekend at their orphanage which would make the children happier. Sounds good? Oh wait, she sure is smart enough to know people would rather prefer disposing her off by giving some money than spending their precious time. Unfortunately for her, the ‘suspicious sam’ in the neighbourhood started probing her as she was spending too much time walking up and down the same street. By the time her true colours were revealed, she had managed to collect few thousands and had enjoyed a hearty meal, tiffin and snacks at few homes.

But what makes you a cat on the wall is when there are representatives from charity organisations like CRY sporting an identity card and talking to you, without a pause, about some cause when your mind is all set on the milk boiling on the stove or the toddler sneakily polishing off his favourite chocolate spread or the phone call that you have put on hold for answering the doorbell. Being the self-proclaimed good mannered fellow that you are, you feel bad to interrupt the conversation (well, just listening makes it a ‘conversation’) in the fear of offending the person’s good intentions. I have faced quite a handful of such people and came up with a brilliant (so I thought) response – that I would check the details at their website and do my best to help them online. Ahhh, snap comes the answer, that donation would go to the common pool but not to the specific cause they are addressing for. And what’s more? They are not here to accept any meagre amount of money for a cause demanding immediate attention. They accept cheques, mind you!

At the expense of sounding rude, a word to all those Kind hearted souls ringing my doorbell. Please leave me alone! It’s MY hard earned money, I have the right to use my discretion when giving it away, be it for charity or anything else for that matter. When I want to share something with the less fortunate, I want it to reach the right hands. If you interpret my apprehensions as unwillingness to help, so be it!