Aging gracefully

Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
― Abigail Van Buren

Every time I see an article or a talk show about how old people are not respected, are not treated good, how their off-springs are not performing their duties etc etc, I earnestly desire they see the other side as well. People, old or otherwise, have to be treated well, respected and cared for. Agreed. But why blame the young generation all the time without considering what they are/were being subjected to by the now old people.

I am not talking about ALL old people here but just trying to say that its very easy and common to take the side of a self-sympathizing, ailing, aging parent without considering the stance of the younger generation.

Today's senior citizens seem to want both the security of joint family and the luxury of nuclear family. They want the comforts that their children's money could buy but do not want to offer help with the struggles faced by the son/daughter and their spouse in balancing work and life and raising kids in a nuclear family. While I don't expect them to raise their grandchildren all by themselves, can't they be accommodating enough to oversee a cook or a servant or a baby caretaker?

They want to spend their retired lives peacefully with trips, tours and other leisurely activities but they do not realize that the youngsters too need some peace with all the struggle in today's fast paced life and the stress & pressure it brings along. While I don't expect them to cook, clean up and care for the home all the time, can't they be accommodating enough to give them a break once in a while?

Your children are neither an extension to your life to do things that you missed doing nor an accessory to be shown off proudly to your relatives and friends or to be compared with theirs. So what if a relative's daughter/son settled abroad and invited her/his parents to visit them on a vacation? While we don't expect them to leave behind a 'fat' will, can''t they be grateful enough for the life they lived and are living rather than whine and complain?

They dwell in the past, have the same rules or 'duty list' for their children and daughter in laws(especially) and fail to understand that the times are changing and so should the rules. While I don't expect them to treat their DILs like their own daughter, can't they be accommodating enough to not expect the DIL to take complete charge as soon as she enters home after a long day at work or in the weekends?

Aging gracefully doesn't just mean looking young at your 50s and 60s but its all about feeling young, lively, matured, accommodating and forgiving. Give, Offer and Love your children without expectations and they will follow your example.

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.
- Judith Viorst

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Prince of Ayodhya

Prince of Ayodhya by Ashok K. Banker

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Though I have grown up hearing stories from Ramayana, I have never attempted to read Ramayana in any form. From that perspective, Ashok K.Banker's retelling is a great start. Although am not sure how much width and depth of the epic AKB's series covers, the narration is captivating, characters are well defined and the writing style is apt for the time period the story is set in. Reading a book with 500+ pages is not an easy task. Not only has the author succeeded in this, but also he has left me looking forward to reading the other volumes as well.

Nevertheless, this book is a good read for anyone wanting to read Ramayana for the first time or otherwise.

A note to self:  Read Ramayana by other author(s) after completing this series and update this review.

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Night Train at Deoli: And Other Stories

Night Train at Deoli: And Other Stories by Ruskin Bond

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



Collection of 30 Heart warming stories. Crisp narration, vivid descriptions, simple characters - accomplishing all this in a short story tells the reader what a seasoned writer Ruskin Bond is.

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Dollar Bahu

A quick and light read. The book synopsis gives you the story outline and the story flows as expected with no surprises, twists or impressive characterization. The message comes across but it would have been more interesting had there been some depth. With such an ordinary story at hand, the author could have afforded to break the stereotyped characters. I mean why should women, mother in laws in particular, should always be the ones proud about their children being abroad? Why not men, the father in law? How about both of them? Why is the girl brought up against odds(Vinuta) always the 'good' one and the one who is pampered with wealth(Jamuna) or otherwise(Gauramma's daughter) are always 'spoilt'. In short, why are the characters black and white?

And the characters that Gauramma meets in US, everyone has a story that is told in few lines either by themselves or by Chandru. The characters come into the story very quickly one behind the other and leave as quickly as they entered. At the least, am happy that the book did not have a 'they lived happily ever after' end with Vinuta readily accepting her Mother in law. Overall, it makes a good casual read and nothing beyond.

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Random stuff about me

I have read many bloggers posting random stuff about oneself and I enjoy reading such posts. Such posts are mostly tags, since am new to blogosphere and don’t have anyone to tag me :-P I take it upon myself to write this post. Haa haa, I wanted to get into some introspection and if not anything it’s going to be self-indulgence to read this few years down the road. Since the list grew too long, I grouped them for the sake of easy reading.

LIKES and DISLIKES 

• I love reading books and its one habit I am mighty proud of, for not giving up.
• I can’t really tell what my all-time favourites are. Like fav color, fav food etc. It all depends on the context and mood.
• I don’t like listening to/narrating movie plots, the kind we all do when in school/college.
• I wish I had been exposed to (Mind you, just exposed not learnt) Carnatic Music so that I can enjoy the technicalities of music in depth.
• Am quite ok at doing crafty stuff but everything ends up with a not-so-professional finish. I think this has got to do with lots of motivation but no teacher.
• I love cooking and watching cookery shows. Inspite of the fact that am a vegetarian, I watch shows cooking non-vegetarian dishes too. I don’t flinch at the sight of meat like some orthodox vegetarians do.
• I love browsing the internet and am quite good at it. I believe I have an eye for finding the right thing.
• The most striking feature that I like about myself is my brain :-) Well, you might not be able to see it (pun intended) but am in awe at how it thinks what it thinks, how it arrives to a solution and how it connects the dots.

ATTITUDE 

• Am highly self-motivated, no matter whatever life deprives me of. At the same time, I lack direction and never seem to know where to start.
• I don’t rush into friendship or any relationship for that matter. I believe it should grow over the years  naturally and not start with pomp only to be continued with bitterness and grudges.
• With the exception of first few interactions when I keep my mind open and don’t form opinions, Give and Take is my policy. Be it respect, reciprocation of love/hatred, being in touch, favors. There is no one-for-one, though.
• The good part is I do, almost everything, with utmost sincerity. And the bad part is I expect it from others too.
• I hate procrastination. Just do it or better don’t say it.
• Just because what I do or don't do might not seem right to you, doesn't make me wrong.
• No, am not rude, insensitive or arrogant. It’s just a reaction. Remember? Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
• When I realize it is beyond someone's capacity to understand something, I give up. The universe will take care of them.

I WISH I COULD CHANGE 

• I am great at losing touch with people I look up to/like/share interests with and NO, am not at all proud of it.
• I know nothing or little about the Indian political scenario. I have not come across any politician whom I can look upto. It’s always like a choice between known devil and unknown angel. The least I do is, cast my vote.
• My face is the index of my mind. It clearly shows, much to my embarrassment, what’s on my mind especially when am in disagreement with something or just don’t give a damn.

AM AT PEACE 

• I prefer peaceful walks and calm dinners to partying or get together with not so familiar people. On the contrary, I love attending weddings inspite of the crowd.
• I can very well spend time by myself, if I wish to. Actually, I prefer that to uncomfortable company.
• Am not particularly good at remembering birthdays, anniversaries, firsts etc. Even on occasions I do, I don’t feel the compulsion to wish unless it’s heartfelt or someone who I meet regularly. Mostly, I wish to avoid offending other’s sentiments. I honestly don’t understand the ‘It’s my day, am on top of the world, ALL SMILES’ stuff people exhibit. But hey, that’s MY opinion; I don’t have any personal grudges against people who enjoy special days. But please, don’t force your attitude on me.
• I don’t have an iota of interest in sports and I don’t intend to do anything about it!
• When it comes to finances, am very insecure and want enough reserve to meet unexpected circumstances before splurging.
• Am nearing the end of my twenties and I am not worried/concerned about not having accomplished anything notable so far. I believe 35-45 is the prime in anyone’s life and am sure I will, at the minimum, find what’s my calling by then. Till that time, all I want to do is keep myself motivated and stay positive.

YOU RATHER STAY AWAY, PLEASE 

• I can’t take too much of incessant talking, boasting, gossiping, looking down at others, sticking one’s nose in, saying something and doing JUST the opposite.
• Talking over and over about the same thing just for the heck of it and not making a point is a strict NO-NO. Radio Jockeys are exceptions but don’t forget to play few songs in between :-P
• In a sense, I don’t like being questioned in detail about trivial things. When am into something, don’t ask me every detail about how, when, what, why just for the sake of it unless it’s going to be of some use to you.
• If you are one of the listed kind, please do me a favor by staying away. 'look at my life, its doomed', 'am just waiting for my end', 'anything is ok, i have no interest you know' 
• Preach ONLY if you follow!